LYLAS...

So a few days ago I went by my Mom’s house to pick up a couple things and stumbled across all my high school yearbooks stacked up in my old bedroom. Obviously my mom is more than ready for me to get all my crap out of her house, especially considering I haven’t lived there at all for about 6 years, so I gladly took those off her hands. I got home and started thumbing through the yearbook from my senior year of high school, looking at pictures of people I don’t even remember being in school with, counting how many pages I was on, recounting old memories to Sam (who was oh-so-interested), and just reliving the glory days in general.

But then I started reading the backhanded compliments that people (okay, guys) wrote in the front and back on the beloved “Autograph” pages. By the time I was done looking through the yearbook, I was cracking up/slightly offended by some of the things people wrote. At the time it didn’t seem like any big deal, but looking back, some of the things these guys wrote were just downright rude. Here are a few examples, abbreviated by “blah, blah, blah’s” for everyone’s sake…

Yearbook Signature #1: “Hey Gorgeous, What happened to you over the last 2 years because now you’re a hottie…”

Okay, let’s just stop right there. “What happened to you…because NOW you’re a hottie”??! Obviously he’s not only implying that I was not a hottie before, but also that I was apparently repulsive for the entirety of my life leading up to my junior and senior year. The fact that he may have been right is neither here nor there, but what really matters is that he actually wrote that on the front page of my yearbook. RUDE.

Yearbook Signature #2: “Crislyn, Hey! It is I, the true essence of man. I must say, you have turned into quite the hottie this last year. Go figure. We have shared many memories, blah blah blah…”

Wait, wait, wait. Back that up. GO FIGURE?!?!?! And apparently since he views himself as the “true essence of man”, he’s practically implying that all members of the male gender were astonished with the fact that I could actually end up being an attractive human being. Narcissistic. And RUDER.

Yearbook Signature #3 (and my personal favorite, considering it’s written by someone I swear I don’t even know): “Crislyn, I’m glad I got to know you a little bit this year…blah blah blah…I don’t know what your future plans are…blah blah blah…I hope you have a great life and excel in everything you do. P.S. I think your friend Marie is HOTT but I never really got to know her very well so I don’t know about that.”

Translation: Hey Crislyn, I don’t really have a flipping clue who you are either, but I’m taking up ½ a page in your yearbook to write out empty compliments and say nice things to you, with an ulterior motive of trying to get you to hook me up with your best friend, Marie. RUDEST.

Now don’t get me wrong, Marie is my BFF and she has ALWAYS been absolutely beautiful. As a result, I grew up living out various versions of Scenario #3, which was not even a big deal. But the fact that some little chicken actually waited until we were about to graduate high school before attempting a last-ditch “hook me up with your best friend” yearbook stint is just pure entertainment. Poor boy. He’s probably playing Dungeons & Dragons somewhere by himself, trying to figure out a way to work up the nerve to finally ask a girl out. But then again, I guess I’ll never know, since I honestly don’t even know WHO he is.

I can’t believe it’s been almost 10 years since I graduated from high school. Now I’m a little concerned about going back to the 10 year reunion next summer. I don't know if I can take all the judgement!  Good thing I’m already married to a handsome, sweet, hard-working man. And so is Marie. 

LYLAS...(Love Ya Like A Sister...duh!)